Posted by por on June 14, 1999 at 15:23:12:
In Reply to: psychoanalysis posted by jason on April 07, 1999 at 08:17:52:
: did you know that i only have one eternity to live?
: you are now thinking "what the hell ?" but i am serious. if god does
: exist he probably hates me but i really haven't done any thing wrong
: that isn't his fault due to the mind he gave me that makes my
: decisions. it is not my fault i think the way i do, he created me i
: didn't, i didn't choose this life. so i see it as if i were to wind up
: in hell, i already am there so he realizes i am used to it. this world
: is much more corruptive and painfull than any hell. it has become my
: own personal one throughout my life. i figure since i won't get the
: "pleasure" of remaining in hell when i die and god hates me too much
: to let me in heaven i will spend the rest of my life living in hell.
: see the way i figure the world is hell for everybody. the longer you
: live the worse your other life was if it was really a life. after you
: have suffered your time on this earth you then move on to eternity in
: nowhere. it's like all of our consciousness were already existing
: before we were born. energy cannot just be created like that from
: other humans. the time on earth is just a short little something we go
: through just to try it if we wanted too in our previous "life" though
: as far as we are considered now we are really just dead (yes i am
: making this up as i go along) so when i say that i didn't choose how i
: think i mean that the me that the real me is imagining me to be is
: actually thinking of the methods that my thoughts should create. the
: me that thinks it physically exist is there fore just an imagination
: of itself and mindlessly convulsing until this horrific fantacy known
: as my life which was created by the actual me's imagination is either
: interupted or he decides to end it. this particular power over myself
: puts me in the place of a god over myself. since i am god over myself
: and technically if it weren't for my self and my own imagination and
: consciosness nobody could really exist as far as i could percieve i
: would there for also be the god of every body including you. however i
: have devised certian ways to make myself suffer and little do i know
: it but every body else is run on their own little collective
: consciousness and thinks as one person. so in reality i am just god to
: two people, me and them, known as you. finally when that day comes
: when i imagine myself dying i may decide to start a knew fantacy about
: something completely diffrent than anything i now percieve as reality.
: for instance gravity may or may not exist and it's existance may or
: may not be relevant. i could imagine myself as a paranoid amoeba in a
: place where time doesn't exist and every day is an exciting conquest
: of wondering where that light comes from where it turns out that it is
: a microscope illuminating my entire body as a reasearchers believe
: they have found a piece of glue which is latin for fly squirrel
: remains after an accidental fusion release due to an extreme pressure
: system building up in the east pole. i may not even have an
: established audio communication system. i may just have another sense
: diffrent than esp but unlike one of the five. my imagination can take
: off in any direction or take off in an imaginary direction. in the
: next life i live for myself i will have no recollection of this one
: therefore this one is irrelivant. it is just a dream or night mare
: where i will wake up go back to sleep and have another completely
: diffrent from this one.so depending on how the other me thinks is how
: he/she dreams there for i am a result of his transgressions, so in a
: sense even though this is all my dream i cannot control it and since
: this is all my imagination and i am god i am essentially a powerless
: god at least to the point where i cannot even control my own dreams.